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I really forgot where I got this interesting quote, which, overall, says, “In life, you have to choose what to be, either a good example or a bad one.” So, my point is that we often talk about someone behind their back. And you know what we would do that: Because they are a bad person. Bad as in someone who tends to annoy us, be it in a friend’s circle, work environment, or whatever.  In my case, I worked with someone who apparently was my direct supervisor. He’s a family man. Living a decent, happy life with his good wife and two happy children. There’s nothing wrong with him at a glance. But when you know him in terms of working together. He’s totally a bad person. Here, I really don’t want to elaborate too much on how his traits really annoy the entire team he supervised. But let me spoil a little bit, what are the characteristics he has that make him considered a bad person: Never comes up with a clear direction. He tends to disagree with all the ideas the team brings to him, but he never offers any clues or solutions for improving them. That leaves the team completely clueless about what to do. Usually, it ends up causing extreme overtime. The hilarious part is that when he wakes up in the morning and asks about the work progress, he can easily change his mind and reject everything the team worked on all night. That forces them to start over. Wtf. Everything done by the team will be owned by him as if it were his. But as the time went by, I was like “Fuck. I think there’s something wrong with him. This person is a self-centred ass shit, think. Or, by today's generation, he would be considered an NPD guy. How long would I be able to stand with this kind of person? Shit.” He’s so easy to scream or wack his own team in front of the forum. Which is a total red flag to me. Thank god he never did that to me. And I don’t know if there’s any stimulation or self-satisfaction when he does that. Lol. I think that’s enough. And I ended up quite elaborating a lot here. === Again, my point for this journal is not about to talk badly about him. What I want to say is, why do people still talking about him? (whenever I hang out with his team, the main course of our conversation will always about this person) Which makes me questioning my self “Is hated person is more engaging than the good one?” That's why we love spending time or putting effort into having a kind of discourse about a bad or hated person in our circle. #1 Are being good boring? Somehow, I always think that maybe we have a tendency, or even we are wired, to love to face some challenges in life. Because being boring is just too safe, perhaps? So we need an "enemy" we can face together, or at least enjoy it, even though it always discomforts us. That's why maybe we need something that has contrast, which is necessary for us to grow, or at least to learn not to become a bad person. #2 Bad person existence is more realistic? I see this as the same as how the world runs in my life. Good things, somehow, are too good to be true. The news always reports bad news. Even in this modern society, some live in famine, yet we don't give a single fuck about them. Unless social media forces it into our feed. And even then, all we do is press "like" and move on. #3 Bad person triggers our self-defense mechanism? Maybe our tendency to talk behind this person’s back, make fun of him, or complain about him is actually a way for us to survive. Almost like a coping mechanism. Instead of facing the situation directly or solving the real problem, we release the tension through conversation. Maybe it even gives us a small dopamine hit — a temporary calm — without having to confront what’s really happening. #4 Or, are we innately a bad person? Maybe it feels relatable on some level. Even if it makes us uncomfortable, there’s still something familiar about it. And maybe that’s the scary part: perhaps we recognize that, if we were in a position of power or superiority, we might end up doing the same things this “bad person” does. We just don't know yet how good it is to be an asshole to others. #5 Good thing/person is lack of depth in life It never lets us to learn. It tends to pamper and indulge us. So our self-awareness or survival instinct is getting lack. That's why maybe god put so many assholes to the world. So, at least, we can learn and don't become one. 
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 Reflecting on how time and money shape friendships, our university reunion revealed the profound changes in loyalty and trust over the years.
It’s already 11:38 PM as I write this, which means there are only 22 minutes left of 2025. Many things have happened. Some of them were good, and some were bad as well. But the good thing is I'm (we, if you happen to read this) still alive and well. But, again, I need to put it here: List new missions I hope I can accomplis by the end of 2026. Even though I don't know whether 2026 will be tough or easy for me (Bismillah...).  I won’t go into too much detail—it would take too long—but the point is, I believe these six missions will lead me to a better life in 2026 (Even there are still many previous missions that aren't done yet.).
Enjoy 2026!  One of the best mosque you can visit in South Jakarta.  Whenever you're on a trip from Jakarta to Cilegon, you can pray here.  This mosque has the greatest view of the Indian Ocean. So you will be reminded how small and weak we are as mortal creatures.  Even though it's a mosque, I don't know why the vibe feels so gothic. Imho. Btw, this one was built in 1596.  "And worship your Lord until what is certain comes to you (death)." Al-Hijr: 99  And, precisely, this angle was taken right after we performed a Salat Al-Janazah (Funeral Prayer) for my friend. Hope she rests in peace.  The mosque also has a role in supporting the local economic cycles.
 Pas nerima pesan ini, gw kebetulan baru sampe di kantor kira-kira setengah jam-an sebelumnya. Lagi enak-enak ngobrol sama kolega tau-tau, "ting!", ni text masuk. Reaksi pertama adalah: "Astaghfirullah..." kaget gw. Bukan maksud kesel karena tiba-tiba dikirimin ini--jujur, yang ngirim ini pun bukan temen yang deket-deket amat, sekadar kenal aja--tapi lebih ke ngebatin karena "anjirr, circle gw pun makin banyak yang kena PHK." Reaksi kedua gw adalah: Bingung jawab apa. Jujur belakangan gak cuma teks ini doang yang masuk. Ada beberapa temen yang kebetulan menanyakan hal yang sama. Gw cuma bisa beri respon empati (beneran tulus) dan mentok "sini, kirim CV lu aja ke gw, ntar gw coba bantu kirim ke HR." Reaksi ketiga gw adalah: Overthinking sambil bilang "wah gak menutup kemungkinan gw kena nih", atau "ini nih gak enaknya swasta, coba gw keterima PNS dulu" dan seterusnya sampe akhirnya jadi nyalahin takdir.
Persis dua bulanan lalu gw juga dapet whatsapp dari kawan lama gw yang menanyakan hal sama kayak di atas. Gw sampe ketemuan sama temen gw ini, nongkrong, makan, dengerin keluh-kesahnya dan betapa sulitnya untuk bisa bounce lagi alias dapet kerjaan dengan tempo sesingkat-singkatnya.
Kalo kata AI aje nih, jumlah pengangguran di Indonesia per Februari 2025 itu mencapai 7,28 dan didominasi usia muda di bawah 24 tahun. Artinya mereka aja (kira-kira) lulus kuliah itu masih susah banget nyari kerja. Saingan makin banyak untuk orang kayak gw yang sebentar lagi 40. Adu pengalman aja belum tentu menang. Masalahnya kerjaannya yang gak ada. Ibarat kita duduk mau makan, piringnya ada, tapi makanannya gak ada. Jujur, solusinya gw gak tau, pun kalo ada ya sifatnya klise aja. Kalo gak bikin usaha sendiri atau ya terus cari jangan nyerah ampe dapet. Kalo kata anak jaman sekarang, "in this economy", yang masih punya kerjaan ya disukur-sukurin, mau itu gak enak, mau sekecil apa pun gajinya, harus ditahan-tahan. Buat yang masih nganggur, ya jangan dianggurin, harus cari secari-carinya, sampe dapet, atau ya cari celah lain bikin usaha (kalo ada modal), atau coba peruntungan cari kerja di luar negeri (kalo ada skil ekstra), atau ya ngojek (kalo kata mamak gw). Begitu juga yang kena PHK, kalo belum ada plan B, ya buruan bikin (gw pun masih nyari apa kira-kira), atau ya jangan capek apply-apply, iket pinggang kencengin, ego kurangin. Jaman lagi susah, yang enak pejabatnya. (nb: buat siapa pun kalian di luar sana yang kebetulan kepapar sama tulisan ini, yuk sama-sama doa semoga hidup kita dimudahkan dilancarkan, dijauhi dari segala kemalangan dan musibah. Kalopun memang sedang dirundung masalah semoga cepat rampung dan ditemukan solusinya. Yang masih kerja semoga lancar, yang gak ada kerjaan semoga dapet segera, yang ilang kerjaan semoga ketemu lagi.) |
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